Non exclusivities of feelings and depths

When life rolls by and the clouds pass fast

When the sand slips through the fingers and you hyperventi-fast

When days seem fast and you struggle to stop and savour

When it's all too perfect and yet you cannot devour

You’re so confused, you know everyone struggles and has their own insecurities but then who takes the lead ever and how does anything move forward

The equations are so messy and the theories so simple, theories so simple yet so fucking complex

Then you remember it is all about the duality and the opposites but it feels like a broken record

You pride on real connection but yet feel like you haven’t had it for a while then you think deeper and you wonder if you really ever had it

Your closest feel like a burden, a reciprocative relation

You strive to find the working but the workings make it all meaningless, you struggle to find the vocabulary and you hope, once again, you could find the connection that would make it easy

It's starting to feel like that doesn’t even exist, it's starting to feel like a big hallucination

You accept to yourself in private, your current starvation, even when you write for yourself you struggle to trust privacy

Too much feels much disgusting, too fast feels much too fast. And then one day you stop it all, drop the act, drop trying so hard, tired and out of breath you let others pass you by

The more you try to solve the harder it gets, let it go, it will probably get okay

Human connection, too much connection, me time, too much me time, happy, too happy, content, too content. Leave me alone, too alone

So tired of empty words and promises and tall plans and pretending to be best buddies when you can’t even hold a conversation without disappearing. Has the whole world suddenly become attention deficit and superficial? Where is the depth?

Where did depth go?

Depth sat with us in a group of old friends who liked each other’s company and had routines built around spending time together

Depth sat one on one crying its heart out about everything under the sun, sometimes inebriated and sometimes sober but always vulnerable and unafraid of being judged

Depth met sometimes publicly in an unexpected coffee shop, you asked it for a charger and lost track of time long even after the phone was fully charged

Depth was in talking and in the silences too, depth had a comfort to it that felt like you were being held in a warm furry embrace